Negativity

Since as far back as I recall my head has always been full of negative thoughts, anxieties and constant ruminative worries. My default setting is tuned in at negative. Negative thoughts about myself. Guilt over past mistakes and things I have done and said, some of them intentionally. There is no forgiveness in my heart for myself. I don’t find it hard to forgive others. I think it may be possible to change my negative thoughts but fear I am too far gone (and old) to be helped. Medication takes the edge off but my negative thoughts can find a way through the drug induced calm. I am not sure my brain knows how to produce a positive thought. I know about positive affirmations and am going to give them a try.

Positive affirmation for today  I AM KIND TO OTHERS I don’t know if it is me who is kind. People tell me I am and I certainly try to be kind but it doesn’t feel as if that is me. I suffer from depersonalisation so nothing really feels connected to me. I am going to address this when I go to psychotherapy (am currently on the waiting list).

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